The Double Mint Commercial Gone Bad
by Chantelli
Summary: The bizarro world cast and normal cast meet, and wackiness insues! Gay evil Willow hits on everyone, hoochie!


1.1.1 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER  
  
"The Double Mint Commercial Gone Bad"  
  
2 ANGLE: DARK PLACE  
  
Giles  
  
Into every generation,  
  
Giles and Willow  
  
A slayer is born,  
  
Willow  
  
One girl, in all the world,  
  
Willow and Cordelia  
  
A Chosen One.  
  
Cordelia  
  
One born with the  
  
Cordelia and Angel  
  
Strength and skill to  
  
Angel  
  
Hunt the vampires and to stop their evil  
  
Angel and Xander  
  
And the swell of their numbers.  
  
Xander  
  
She alone will stand against the  
  
Xander and Buffy  
  
Vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness.  
  
Buffy  
  
She is the Slayer.  
  
Buffy  
  
(Walks in, seductive. and she falls on her face)  
  
Group  
  
(Walking behind her. as she runs off, so do they.)  
  
Buffy Uhh.I'm ok!! (Gets up and scampers off)  
  
(Music starts.)  
  
(continued)  
  
(Everyone with little cards that introduce themselves to the camera i.e. "Nicholas Brendon as Xander, Alyson Hannigan as Willow", etc at the very end of the music at drum solo. all of us getting jiggy to the music)  
  
(Music stops.)  
  
2.1.1 TEASER  
  
ANGLE: EXT: A PLACE OUTDOORS-NIGHT  
  
(Buffy is pinned to a tree or wall or something.it looks to the viewer she is being bitten or attacked. oh no! What shall she do?)  
  
2.2 Buffy  
  
(Giggling, then forceful) Whoa! Hands.  
  
(Yes in fact the Vampire is indeed Angel. she pushes him off playfully.)  
  
Angel  
  
Oops! My bad. (He goes back to pinning her to a wall or something and the giggling starts again.)  
  
(Camera pans to bushes.we see eyes and shadows, and all too familiar voices.)  
  
Voice one (Evil Buffy)  
  
Please! Slut! (In fact, she is wearing the same thing. only we don't see till later.)  
  
Voice two (Evil Angel)  
  
She's kinda cute. Can I keep her?  
  
Voice one (Evil Buffy)  
  
Hey! (E.B. hits him playfully but gentle or not it knocks him on his butt.)  
  
(Camera pans back to good Buffy and Angel and slowly fades, or pans to some trees but not until me hear.)  
  
2.3 Buffy  
  
I SAID WATCH THE HANDS!  
  
  
  
CUT TO:  
  
ANGLE: INT: LIBRARY- DAY  
  
(Scene is at the library where Cordelia, Xander and Willow are huddled around a table, looking at.books, of course! Giles is there too. Buffy enters.)  
  
Xander  
  
Hey Buffster. whoa.didn't I just see you?  
  
(continued)  
  
Buffy  
  
What kind of dream did you have last night Xander?  
  
Cordelia  
  
Ya, WHAT kind did you have Xander?!?  
  
Xander  
  
(Hesitant) Well.--hey, that's BESIDES the point! But honestly, Buff, I just had the strangest feeling of déjà vu.  
  
Buffy  
  
De ja.who?  
  
Willow  
  
(Suddenly looks up) Buffy, didn't I see you before? Because I just got the strangest feeling of déjà vu.  
  
Xander  
  
(Gives her a "what the hell?" look)  
  
Giles  
  
(Melodramatic) Something seems to be uh. a-a-amiss.  
  
Buffy  
  
(Superhero pose) Yeah, something's wiggy! Let's go to The Bronze to figure it out!  
  
Cordelia  
  
Uhh.what about school?  
  
Buffy  
  
(Pause) ah, skip it.  
  
Cordelia and Xander  
  
Okay!! Let's go!! (Exit with Buffy)  
  
Willow  
  
Umm.Giles.do you want to stay back here with me.and... Um.look through books.and.um.stuff.and...Uh-  
  
Giles  
  
(Grabs her off camera)  
  
(Camera stays there for a moment and then pans to the table. Again, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Giles and Buffy are there. But something's different about them.)  
  
3 ANGLE: INT: TABLE-DAY  
  
  
  
(continued)  
  
Everyone  
  
(Is really quiet and looking around)  
  
  
  
Xander  
  
So...wanna.go.kill stuff??  
  
Everyone  
  
(Pauses) Sure!!! (All get up and exit)  
  
(Camera stays there for a moment but then pans to Willow and Giles who are pretending [or so Marisa says!] to do stuff...)  
  
4 ANGEL:INT: ANOTHER PART OF THE LIBRARY-DAY  
  
Willow  
  
Hey! Wait! Did you hear that?  
  
Giles  
  
What? I hear absolutely nothing now ho-  
  
Willow  
  
Wait! That was Xander's voice! And didn't Xander leave already?  
  
Giles  
  
Umm.well I don't know but ANYWAYS I-  
  
Willow  
  
I think we should follow them. (Gets up and leaves)  
  
Giles  
  
(Pauses) Damn. I'll never get any action by this rate.  
  
(Scene 2: At The Bronze) [Idea: possible fake commercials here? Something stupid. just something to think about if we have extra time on our hands]  
  
5 ANGLE: INT: BRONZE-DAY  
  
(Chantal has this moment by herself. It's Buffy vs. Dru. Can you feel the schizophrenia?! I can. On with the script. Oh by the way, the camera angle changes depending on where Chantal is facing)  
  
5.1 "Dru"  
  
(Dancing to the music. Obviously not the same Dru we love to hate)  
  
"Buffy"  
  
DRU! Hold it right there...you. fiend!  
  
  
  
(continued)  
  
"Dru"  
  
Oh hello, luv! Run and catch, run and catch, run and.Oh! I drifted off there for a moment! Can I help you?  
  
"Buffy"  
  
I just have two questions. What are you smoking and where can I find some?  
  
"Dru"  
  
I think you have me confused with someone else.  
  
"Buffy"  
  
But you're British. (Pause) And that gives me reason to kill you!! AAHH!! Take this!!  
  
"Dru"  
  
Nooo!! It burns it bur-hurts!!!  
  
"Buffy"  
  
Ah-ha!  
  
"Dru"  
  
(Falls to the ground. And "dust" is thrown, camera stops, Dru isn't there but the "dust" remains.)  
  
(Chantal is now Buffy for good. Cordelia, Willow, Xander, Angel and Giles catch up to her.)  
  
Giles  
  
Uh, good show Buffy! What with killing.and... All.  
  
Buffy  
  
Thanks. Um.Angel...what are you doing here? It's almost noon. The SUN is out.  
  
Angel  
  
(Shrugs) blame the writer's. They're on drugs.  
  
Everyone else  
  
(Nods in agreement. Cordelia, Giles, Angel and Buffy walk off camera but Willow and Xander stay)  
  
Willow  
  
Uhm.so.um...Xander...wanna.wanna come with me to the bar.and.buy...and.do...some.stuff?  
  
Xander  
  
(shrugs) Sure. (Both walk off)  
  
(The Evil Copies walk on)  
  
  
  
(continued)  
  
Evil Cordelia  
  
Look. People. Let's.kill them.  
  
Evil Willow  
  
(Looking pleadingly to Evil Buffy) May I keep one?  
  
Evil Buffy  
  
Yes. And we'll ride him like a pony!  
  
(Camera pans back to the Good Gang)  
  
5.2 Good Cordelia  
  
Ohmygod! It's a copy of myself!! And she's using different foundation!! But damn am I sexy. I mean look at me.  
  
Good Buffy  
  
That's the least of our worries. (Poses) Mind you...Evil Angel looks kind of hot. Can I keep them both?  
  
Good Angel  
  
Hey!!  
  
Good Willow  
  
(Stands up from behind bar counter) HEY! I'm...I'm evil...and.and I'm skanky...and.and I think I'm kind of gay!  
  
(Camera pans back to the Evil group)  
  
Evil Xander  
  
Xander's blood thirst rising.  
  
Good Xander  
  
Oh c'mon!! Xander would never talk that way! (Pause) DAMMIT!  
  
(Big fight scene in which people fight with themselves. Camera edits and all that remains are ashes. The good guys have won!)  
  
CUT TO:  
  
6 ANGLE: INT: LIBRARY-DAY  
  
(Scene 3)  
  
Giles  
  
I must commend you all on today's fight.  
  
Xander  
  
Yeah, job well-done Scooby-Gang!  
  
(continued)  
  
6.1 Buffy  
  
Hey um...Willow.wanna join me in the girls' washroom?!  
  
Willow (bright-eyed) Sure!!  
  
Both  
  
(Walks towards the camera and wink, indicating that they're both the EVIL VERSIONS! MUWAHAH!! BET YOU DIDN'T GUESS THAT WOULD HAPPEN!!.You did? Oh. The end.)  
  
  
  
(Buffy theme plays: we all get jiggy again and at the very end we say:)  
  
6.2 Everyone  
  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANTAL!  
  
LOVE: THE CAST OF BUFFY!  
  
[Possibility of having "Giles" sing the Exposition Song]  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Episode 1V01  
  
  
  
  
  
6.2.1 Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
  
"The Double Mint Commercial Gone Bad"  
  
Written by  
  
Chantal Gouveia  
  
&  
  
Marisa Ship  
  
  
  
Directed By  
  
(In alphabetical order)  
  
Callahan  
  
Chantal  
  
Chris  
  
Kyle  
  
Marisa  
  
And last but not least.  
  
Stacey Lee  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
6.2.2  
  
6.2.3  
  
6.2.4  
  
6.2.5  
  
6.2.6  
  
6.2.7  
  
6.2.8  
  
6.2.9  
  
6.2.10 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER  
  
"The Double Mint Commercial Gone Bad"  
  
6.2.10.1 CAST LIST  
  
Buffy Summers....................................Chantal  
  
Xander Harris..................................Chris  
  
Giles........................................Callahan  
  
Willow......................................Marisa  
  
Cordelia.....................................Stacey Lee  
  
Angel.......................................Kyle  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
6.2.11 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER  
  
"The Double Mint Commercial Gone Bad"  
  
6.2.11.1 SET LIST  
  
6.2.11.1.1 INTERIORS  
  
A DARK PLACE  
  
THE LIBRARY  
  
THE BRONZE  
  
  
  
6.2.11.1.2 EXTERIORS  
  
A PLACE OUTDOORS 


End file.
